English Jokes

(68)

A Guy Applied to Join. . .
A guy applied to join a nudist club. "Exactly what do ...

A Rich Millionaire Decides. . .
A rich millionaire decides to throw a massive party for...

Did You Hear About The Postman
Did you hear about the postman who was surprised one mo...

Lawyer
A lawyer and an engineer were fishing in the Caribbean....

It is Near The End of The School Year
Who said?It is near the end of the school year. The teacher has turned in her grades.There is really nothing to do. All the kids are restless because t...

Ralph Was Driving Home. . .
Ralph was driving home one evening when he suddenly realizes that it`s his daughter`s birthday and he hasn`t bought her a present. He drives to the m...

Dear Boss
Our staff has completed 18 months of work on time and on budget. We have gone through every line of code in every program in every system. We have analyz...

Beer Type
Beer Type Average Suck-point (minutes) --------------------------------------------------------------------- Miller Lite (white can) 6.2 ...

This is Pretty Amusing
Warm Beer An actual letter sent to Miller Brewing Company and their response: Miller Brewing Company Milwaukee, Wisconsin 53201 Dear Sir or Madam,...

The Wives of Four Presidents. . .
The wives of four presidents and Prime Minister are talking together about what a penis is called in their language. The wife of Tony Blair says in Engla...

Us Navy
This is the transcript of an actual radio conversation of a US naval ship with Canadian authorities off the coast of Newfoundland in October, 1995. Ra...

Six Reasons Why Computer Are Female
1- as soon as u have one, a better one is just around the corner 2- no one but the creator understands the internal logic 3- even your smallest mistakes ...

Cute Story
Last week I took my children to a restaurant. My six-year-old son asked if he could say grace. As we bowed our heads he said, "God is great and God is go...

Prison Vs. Work
IN PRISON you spend the majority of your time in an 8x10 cell. AT WORK you spend most of your time in a 6x8 cubicle. IN PRISON ...

Top 20 Replies by Programmers
Top 20 Replies by Programmers when their programs do not work: 20. "That`s weird..." 19. "It`s never done that before." 18. "It worked yesterday." 17...

For Those Who Know This Joke in Portuguese
A lady goes to her priest one day and tells him, "Father, I have a problem. I have two female parrots, but they only know how to say one thing." "Wha...

A Burglar Got Into a House One Night
A burglar got into a house one night. Shining his flashlight on the floor in the dark, he heard a voice saying, "Jesus is watching you." He looked...

"I resent your insinuendoes." "No man is an Ireland." "If we don`t make some changes, the status quo will remain the same." "We`re going to have t...

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